he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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