she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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