We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize