great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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