Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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