Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
