If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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