I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We're too hungover to prance.
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