i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
