just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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