Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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