This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize