His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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