he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
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