I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
