He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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