I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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