how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
