why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
