I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
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