Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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