Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I love you.
Bad choice
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