Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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