No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
