can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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