Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
