i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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