After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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