Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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