So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
