we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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