Soap is not a condiment
Too much gin, very little bucket
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
