.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
