I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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