Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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