If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
