So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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