member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
