I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My vagina just recognized that song.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
