You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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