just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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