If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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