Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
ok first of all what the fuck
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
