So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
