brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
