I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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