I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
