so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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