So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
