Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
