I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
