she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
