What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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