i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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