You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
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