i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i now understand why vodka
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize