He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
and you fell through a lawn chair
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
