I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
