Just cropdusted the office
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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