someone threw a dead crab at me
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
