Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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