She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
