North Korea, Best Korea!
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
