Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
