dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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