don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
