Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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