Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
